Dear Smelly People,
Gross!
You are, unfortunately, not a rarity. Luckily for the rest of us with functioning olfactory senses, you typically do not group together. You do, however, manage to pop up in virtually each situation in which we are required to sit in relatively close quarters for an extended period of time: classrooms, elevators, waiting rooms, buses, airplanes…
Why can you not shower? Why can you not put on deodorant? Wash your clothes? Are you too lazy? Broke? (which, by the way, is an excuse I don’t buy because a bar of soap is $1 at the dollar store and it can wash everything from bodies to shirts) Is your own sense of smell damaged? Or do you believe that others cannot smell you? Trust me, if you even THINK you might smell bad… everyone else thinks so too!! I mean its SMELL for god’s sakes! It’s a pretty public condition.
In conclusion, clean up because you are gross!
Plugging my nose,
T.P.
( P.S. Failure to brush your teeth lands you into official “smelly person” status)
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