Dear Smelly People,

Dear Smelly People,

Gross!

You are, unfortunately, not a rarity. Luckily for the rest of us with functioning olfactory senses, you typically do not group together. You do, however, manage to pop up in virtually each situation in which we are required to sit in relatively close quarters for an extended period of time: classrooms, elevators, waiting rooms, buses, airplanes…

Why can you not shower? Why can you not put on deodorant? Wash your clothes? Are you too lazy? Broke? (which, by the way, is an excuse I don’t buy because a bar of soap is $1 at the dollar store and it can wash everything from bodies to shirts) Is your own sense of smell  damaged? Or do you believe that others cannot smell you? Trust me, if you even THINK you might smell bad… everyone else thinks so too!! I mean its SMELL for god’s sakes! It’s a pretty public condition.

In conclusion, clean up because you are gross!

Plugging my nose,

T.P.

( P.S. Failure to brush your teeth lands you into official “smelly person” status)

Dear grumps,

Dear perpetual grumps,

What’s your problem?

I cannot stand the people who seem to always be having the worst day of their lives. You know the type; no smile-EVER, never any positive response to “how’s it going?”, impossible to please. I know that sometimes a person IS having the worst day of their lives, and I know that not everyone can, or should, be all happiness and smiles all the time. However, is life really all that bad?? You’re alive! You’re likely healthy! You have family! You have the money to drive a car, buy two lattes a day, dress and feed yourself—do you have any idea how many people don’t have any of those things?! You hate your birthday, do you not see that a birthday is its own greatest gift?

I imagine that you think of yourself as an unhappy person, I imagine that you think that this is somehow the fault of the rest of the world. You are so wrong! Happiness, or at the least peace, comes from within. YOU create the gloomy rain cloud hanging over your head and YOU carry it with you every where you go! If this is how you choose to be, fine! Be miserable forever! I don’t care! Just stop spreading your negative energy onto everyone else…..

In conclusion, if you choose to be miserable, become a hermit!

Positively yours,

T.P.

Dear World,
Welcome to the very first post of my brand new blog, and thanks for visiting. Dear World will be a platform for me to say all of the things I cannot otherwise due to inability, time, or social appropriateness. In the future you will see posts like "Dear other drivers," or "Dear makers of The Thing,"  I hope to make my blog insightful, humorous, and refreshing. Please check in often, See you all soon!